no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
