The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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