Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
