I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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