1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Operation Purity has been aborted
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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