I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
