Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
