He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
