apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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