Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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