do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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