is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
