A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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