You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
