Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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