All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
