Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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