My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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