have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
