After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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