I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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