Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
