I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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