Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
