Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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