11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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