if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
