Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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