Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
