Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
