Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the condom got lost in my hair
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
