Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
