Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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