well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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