How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
