I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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