wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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