Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
