Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
