Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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