Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it glows. i had to have it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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