We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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