We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
