Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
