Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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