did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
