i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
