so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
