In the future we'll all be gay
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
