my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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