brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
