end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
