Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
