smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
